Hold the phone!

To be filed under "things you never thought you'd hear someone say" : "I don't care if he's afraid of my penis!"

To be filed under "things you never want to hear after you've heard someone say that" : "Oh, I haven't told you that story? Well, I'll have to tell you later, I have to go now."

That is the horrible thing about phone calls. Many a good shit-talking session has been ruined by, "oh, someone just walked in the door, I have to go," or "oh, I just got to where I was driving, I have to go," or, "oh, one of the kids I'm babysitting is bleeding from the head, I have to go." SO annoying.

Luckily, I complained enough about the injustice of being deprived such a promising hilarious story that he called the next day to tell me the details. It involved a passionate night in the bedroom that was a bit too voracious for the receiving participant, who maybe needed an ice pack afterward. Apparently that led to complaints to his best friend, who then told my friend about the concerns. Needless to say, it was a conversation that left my friend very self-assured about any and all aspects of his penis. When he was telling me the story there were a lot of math terms, and I sort of zone out whenever anything involving measurements or numbers becomes involved. I'm not a carpenter, boys.

Moral of the story -- leave cliffhangers for JJ Abrams shows. They have no place in phone conversations. I had enough mindfuckery while I was trying to keep track of Lost, thank you very much, and I do not appreciate any more.