I have a friend that I sometimes think of as a straight guy who likes guys. He loves football and red meat and hates talking about his feelings. He puts on a facade of nonchalance when he's out in public.
But there are times when he surprises me, specifically around Christmas time. He dons him now some gay apparel when it gets close to Christmas. I helped him decorate his house for Christmas, and I swear this man pranced. PRANCED through the house. I'm pretty sure he even giggled on occasion. He also just called me at 6:45 a.m. because the local easy listening radio station is playing Christmas music and he thought that I should know that Kenny Loggins was playing.
It's like having my own personal elf.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Benefits.
I have recently been made aware that I have a friend who has a friend with benefits.
The way he explained it to me was that they ended up drunk in bed one night and things started happening so he just decided to go with it. He went with it for a couple of months.
Has anyone else ever been able to make a "friends with benefits" situation work? Hollywood has made it clear that there are usually some sort of feelings on one or both sides. Can sex be emotionless and just fun?
He said that they eventually broke it off because they wanted to end it before things got complicated. My argument is, how can things not be complicated? Many people are able to separate the act of sex from emotional attachments (I know some people even separate the act of sex from sexual orientation, which is even more baffling), but to me a situation of friends with benefits differs from general promiscuity or an occasional one night stand.
To repeatedly have sex with a person and to not develop feelings for that person is to take all of the feeling out of it. Sex is supposed to be the ultimate expression of love and intimacy with a person, which is why it is so scandalous when people engage in one night stands in the first place. Granted, the friends of benefits situation is safer than the one night stand situation, but still. Why engage in acts of intimacy with a person without being intimate with them? That's what hands are for.
The way he explained it to me was that they ended up drunk in bed one night and things started happening so he just decided to go with it. He went with it for a couple of months.
Has anyone else ever been able to make a "friends with benefits" situation work? Hollywood has made it clear that there are usually some sort of feelings on one or both sides. Can sex be emotionless and just fun?
He said that they eventually broke it off because they wanted to end it before things got complicated. My argument is, how can things not be complicated? Many people are able to separate the act of sex from emotional attachments (I know some people even separate the act of sex from sexual orientation, which is even more baffling), but to me a situation of friends with benefits differs from general promiscuity or an occasional one night stand.
To repeatedly have sex with a person and to not develop feelings for that person is to take all of the feeling out of it. Sex is supposed to be the ultimate expression of love and intimacy with a person, which is why it is so scandalous when people engage in one night stands in the first place. Granted, the friends of benefits situation is safer than the one night stand situation, but still. Why engage in acts of intimacy with a person without being intimate with them? That's what hands are for.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Bloody Mary
The United Kingdom has lifted a lifelong ban on gay men giving blood due to the perceived risk of HIV/AIDS. Men who have not had anal or oral sex with other men in twelve months (a window made to make sure that no infections are undetected in testing) are now able to donate blood in England, Scotland, and Wales.
The ban on blood donation of homosexual men still applies in the United States, but hopefully this move in the UK will cause American health services to re-examine their discriminatory policies. According to the UK research, "the safety of the blood supply would not be affected by the change and we would like to reassure patients receiving transfusions that the blood supply is as safe as it reasonably can be and amongst the safest in the world. There has been no documented transmission of a blood-borne virus in the UK since 2005, with no HIV transmission since 2002."
Giving blood is very important, not just in times of crisis but every day. There is no substitute to blood, so opening up the blood pool and having more blood available to those in need is important. If you've ever been in an accident or had a disease that called for a transfusion, you know how important blood donation is. If you're able, check out where to donate from the American Red Cross.
The ban on blood donation of homosexual men still applies in the United States, but hopefully this move in the UK will cause American health services to re-examine their discriminatory policies. According to the UK research, "the safety of the blood supply would not be affected by the change and we would like to reassure patients receiving transfusions that the blood supply is as safe as it reasonably can be and amongst the safest in the world. There has been no documented transmission of a blood-borne virus in the UK since 2005, with no HIV transmission since 2002."
Giving blood is very important, not just in times of crisis but every day. There is no substitute to blood, so opening up the blood pool and having more blood available to those in need is important. If you've ever been in an accident or had a disease that called for a transfusion, you know how important blood donation is. If you're able, check out where to donate from the American Red Cross.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Going the distance
In September and October, two of my good friends embarked on separate long distance relationships. By the end of October, both of them were over. One of the relationships moved very slowly, with the guys getting to know each other over a period of a few weeks, and the other relationship moved quickly, with them being exclusive and official after a few days.
Long distance relationships baffle me. I have only known one relationship of my friends that has survived long distances. Relationships, especially in the fragile "getting to know you" stage, are very tenuous and distance just adds another stressor. Especially relationships that begin with distance. In both cases, the guys were friends of a friend that they met at a party; the guys had come in from towns one or two hours away.
At the end of the day, I'm happy if my friends are happy, and they were happy, especially on the weekends when they got together with their guys. I just hope that next time, they can be happy without having to drive for two hours or rack up an enormous text messaging bill.
Long distance relationships baffle me. I have only known one relationship of my friends that has survived long distances. Relationships, especially in the fragile "getting to know you" stage, are very tenuous and distance just adds another stressor. Especially relationships that begin with distance. In both cases, the guys were friends of a friend that they met at a party; the guys had come in from towns one or two hours away.
At the end of the day, I'm happy if my friends are happy, and they were happy, especially on the weekends when they got together with their guys. I just hope that next time, they can be happy without having to drive for two hours or rack up an enormous text messaging bill.
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