Lessons learned.

A few lessons I learned this past weekend:

1. "Hocus Pocus" is one of the best movies of our time.

2. If you are with an attractive male friend in a gay bar, a drag queen will give you a free shot and tell you you're pretty.

3. A good way to bond with a friend's new dating pal is to get really drunk and dance around the living room. It is also wise to alternate that dancing with hugging.

4. I should not be allowed to talk to people when I've downed a bottle of red wine.

5. Neither should I be allowed to eat anything while drunk. Even something as seemingly innocuous as a chicken tender. Yes, I chipped my tooth on a chicken tender.