Couples

This summer, I have embarked on a new journey in my path of queer dear-dom : I have befriended a couple.

It's shocking to me that this is my first gay couple, but most of my friends have relationships that expire faster than a carton of milk, whether of their fault or not. These guys have been together for two years and are living together. They have dog children together. They are legit.

As always, with the new acquisition of friends comes new challenges. For example, there's the third wheel danger. Nobody wants to be the awkward creeper in the corner during a romantic moment. For example, just recently we had a pool day, the two of them and me. I was in the pool with one of the guys while the other was lying in a pool chair. When he was getting in the water, he asked how the water was and homeboy answered, "it's good now that you're in here." Awkward City, population me.

There's also the package problem. And not the good type of package, oh no. The package deal problem. I'll make plans with one of them, and they'll both show up. Typically this is not a problem, as I love both of them and we always have a blasty blast. It is a little difficult when trying to get to know them, however. I enjoy one on one time with my friends; I find that it helps bonding and fostering deep relationships. It's close to impossible to have one on one time with three people. Try it sometime.

Like all couples, they fight and make up. Sometimes their arguments make me uncomfortable. The making up makes me even more uncomfortable. There are times when we'll be at their house hanging out with one of them in the living room with me and the other in their bedroom. Sooner or later, they'll both be in the bedroom. In which case, I am overcome by awkwardness. Is the party moving in there? Is it a pants party? Unless there is an invitation on monogrammed stationary, I stay the hell away.

They are a great couple. Where one is frenetic, the other is laidback. Where one tends to diva out, the other tends toward neutral. They are both devoted to each other in sickeningly sweet ways. They make a great team -- which makes it even more awkward to be sitting and watching from the sidelines.