Snuggie.

When it comes to touching people, I feel like I err toward the side of caution. I don't particularly enjoy being touched by people that I don't know or particularly like. I'm not going to be the person to give you a hug when I first meet you. I have had people go for a hug after the first meeting and it will only end in tears.

But if you are my friend, particularly one of my gay friends, watch out. No body part is safe. I hug, I snuggle, I big spoon, I hold hands, I grab asses. You name it, it will probably be attended to in some platonic way.

Which is all the more awkward when I find out that a friend doesn't like being touched. I have this friend that I recently found out doesn't like being overly touched, so you know that it is like telling a two year old not to touch the hot stove. All I want to do is touch this kid. I want to hug him, I want to watch movies intertwined on the couch, I want to be the goddamn big spoon. It's awful. I do all of those things with his boyfriend, no problem. Boyfriend and I will kiss goodbye, and he's by the door of his car with a lame, "Call me tomorrow." What!? No. You will take your hug like a man and then you'll be on your way.

Everyone needs their personal space. I get it, I shouldn't intrude, personal bubble, all that jazz. I'm pretty sure that he considers me to be a good friend. I feel like we moved past casual acquaintance a while ago. But I'm still afraid that anytime my hand accidentally grazes his knee, he's dying on the inside.

I hate to think of what he's thinking when I "accidentally" squeeze his ass.