Back (With Not Much of a Vengeance)!

So it's been a minute since I've made a post. Shame on me. Life has gotten in the way -- I've had a job change and a housing change, and both of those have been filled with emotional fallout, blah blah blah, I like to talk about feelings a lot.

But this past weekend, I spent a wonderful weekend with a fabulous group of men and I was reminded of several things. One was that gay men will quickly correct you if you are wearing heels and you're actually wearing wedges, get it right.

The most important was the reminder that I am the happiest and truest version of myself when I'm with my gay friends. I reunited with a friend from college and was introduced to his group of friends, to whom I immediately became best friends (or at least Facebook friends, which in this age is practically the same thing). When I returned home, I was in a deep blue funk that I couldn't figure out, until I realized that it was because I missed them so much.

So let's get a drink, boys. It's been far too long.

Book Review -- The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth

Summary: Cameron Post is twelve years old when, in the same day, she kisses a girl and her parents are killed in a car accident. Not only is she left to deal with the grief from the loss of her parents and her conservative aunt Ruth who moves in to care for her, but her burgeoning sexuality, which manifests even more in her attraction to her friend, Coley. Cameron and Coley eventually develop a relationship and, when Coley's brother discovers them, Coley tells the town that Cameron has manipulated her and taken advantage of her and Cameron is sent to a conversion camp designed to teach her appropriate relationships and gender roles and how to turn away from her sinful ways. While at the camp,  Cameron gets to know and befriend some of the other campers and comes to terms with herself and the differences in others.

Commentary: This is a young adult novel, which originally turned me off -- as a high school teacher, I tend to keep away from novels that detail teenagers and their problems, but this was recommended to me by a friend. Once I got past the everyday teenage troubles (she drinks and smokes pot pretty frequently), the conversion therapy angle fascinated me. At the camp, Cameron encounters two different types of adults: Reverend Rick, who is approaching the campers and their mission from the "I dealt with homosexual feelings and came out victorious" angle, more sympathetic and understanding and treats the campers as actual people, and Lydia, the cold, ice-bitch psychologist who is the one who corrects the campers behavior frequently and sees them as square pegs to push into the round holes. It's when one of the campers, who is the son of a preacher himself, has a breakdown at a therapy session and harms himself when he can't get rid of the gay, does Cameron and a few other campers make plans to escape. And who can blame her -- the only people in her world surround her with hate and confusion and fear.

The author has said that she's based the camp on the Zach Stark controversy at a Love In Action camp that was investigated for child abuse. The book also has other ties with the author -- it takes place in her home town of Miles City, Montana, and Emily M. Danforth officially came out while she was attending college.

Why You Should Read This Book: The writing is good, though it tends to feel a bit bogged down in the middle. The section at the camp, however, makes it completely worth it. The different ways that the kids -- because they're all kids -- cope with the world and the hate that is thrown at them from people they love, is admirable. Even when one camper, unable to handle his father's rejection when the campers go home for two weeks at Christmas, mutilates himself, it's still understandable and plausible.

One of my wonderful friends has recently gone through a change in his relationship with his parents when he came out. Luckily, my friend is in his 20s and has a wonderful boyfriend and support system to fall back on when his parents disappoint him. But these characters are teenagers, all younger than 18, and at the most vulnerable stages of their lives. To read how these kids deal with the adversity of being told that they're wrong is what makes the book worth reading.

T is for Terrific

Today is my best friend's birthday!

I first met T when we were cast together in our local community theater's production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." He played Joseph and I played Potiphar's Wife; my introduction to him was, "oh hi! I'll be the one ravishing you later!" Part of our tango dance included me shoving his face in my cleavage and a love was born.

We've been best friends for two years and roommates for six months. He is one of the most talented people that I know and I've been privileged to be able to work with and sing with him on a few occasions. He is a wonderful teacher, as evidenced by the time he takes with me and by the merits of his students.

He entered my life at exactly the right time -- I was transitioning from one job to the other and was worried about leaving my friends in Houston to move to a smaller town. To be honest, our blossoming friendship was one of the main reasons that I pursued the job in the smaller town so passionately. It's not very often that people find someone that they bond with so quickly and intensely and I didn't want to let that go.

In the past few years, we've gone through major ups and downs -- we both were cast as leads in shows at our theater, I started grad school, he had a significant break-up, we moved in together to make our transformation into Will and Grace complete. Since we've started living together, we've had minor battles, mainly over the spice cabinet (because he's a damn dirty Cajun with an iron tongue), but we're thriving.

I don't know where I would be without T. He has enriched my life in many ways, starting with providing me with the love of his dog, Wolfgang. He is funny, thoughtful, caring, and loyal. He is supportive of me but not to the point where he doesn't call me out for being ridiculous. He is the perfect laidback yin to my melodramatic yang. Everyone should be lucky enough to have a friend like T -- but get your own, I don't like to share.

Happy birthday, T! I love you and I'm sorry in advance for eating all of your birthday cake!

Sports Talk

We are living in a new world. This week, NBA player Jason Collins has come out, becoming the first openly gay active player on an American sports team. Many players have come out after retiring, but none have come out as gay while actively playing a sport -- and enduring the locker room.

Most of the feedback since Collins' news has been supportive and congratulatory; however, with the positive also comes the inevitable negative and stupidity. Former and current players as well sports representatives have spoken out on twitter about being uncomfortable with a gay man in a locker room. A few players have written dissenting tweets then erased them -- one player saying "it's a shame I have to apologize for my TRUE feelings."

What is a shame is that the stigma of the uncontrollable homosexual is still present. Because guess what -- Collins was gay before coming out. He was in the locker room with men who were dressing and undressing in front of him and there were no issues. Nothing has changed! He's still the same person.

The argument of "he's gay, my loins are no longer safe" is such a ridiculous thought. As with straight people, gay people don't see random folk on the street and become overwhelmed with desire and have a loss of all self control. If changing under a robe or in a stall makes you feel more comfortable, then by all means, have at it, but don't do it out of safety and concern for yourself. Do it out of basic public decency.

Life is a Drag

Over Christmas break, I went up to Dallas to visit friends and we subsequently went to S4 to see their drag show. I've seen many a drag show in my day and love every incarnation, including Rupaul's Drag Race on LOGO. But whether professional or amateur, there are a few staples that are necessary for a great time:  

1. A great emcee. Nothing ruins a night faster than an emcee who isn't funny or entertaining, or the lack of an emcee, with the DJ announcing the girls. Emcees are incredibly important: they need to be spontaneous and respond to the audience without being overly vulgar. There's a difference between joking and insulting and a good emcee (with a good audience) can toe the line magnificently.  

2. A good audience. Don't try to be funnier than the emcee, because you will not win. Have fun while still being courteous to both the girls and the other audience members. Basically, don't be an ass. Have fun but don't spoil the rest of the audience's fun.  

3. Tip! Tipping is not mandatory but is the best way of showing your appreciation for the show. If you're going to tip, then don't make them work for the money -- don't hold on to it and "make" them perform for you in order to get it. They're working their asses off for everybody, and you're included in that. Let them get their money and move on! They're earning every bit of it.  

4. Performers need to know the words to the songs. This is one of my pet peeves. Yeah yeah, they're lip syncing, which means they don't necessarily have to know the words, but come on. Nothing takes me out of a show faster than a performer moving their mouth like a fish and pronouncing random syllables that do not in anyway sound like the song they're supposed to be performing. Ladies: pick a song you know, and then perform the shit out of it.

 5. Keep the music topical. There are the obvious gay anthems that are staples in shows, but if you're performing a random 70s disco song that no one in the audience knows, you're just setting yourself up for a boring show. I may be biased in this one, but my favorite performances have been queens that dress as Beyonce, Gaga, or Britney and rocked the shit out of a medley. The Beyonce queens are my favorite, I must admit.

It's probably sad how much thought I've put into what makes a good drag show, but there you go. Go, drink, and hope that I never figure out how to pull a Connie and Carla because I will take my drag show on the road and it will be a GLORIOUS show.

Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends

One more reason to support gay marriage: gay men will marry your girlfriends. And I believe I speak for all women when I say that we all enjoy a motherfucking quiche. You have been warned.

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

Barack the Vote

Tomorrow is election day! To put you in the mood, I would like to direct you to this letter from President Obama in response to a 10 year old girl's letter about being bullied because she has two dads:

And I swoon.

Don't forget to vote tomorrow!

Girls on Film

It's all fun and games until you find out that your new friend once starred in gay porn.

Pentatonix

Yesterday, we traveled to Austin to see Pentatonix, as per the Roommate's request. He's a choir director and loves everything and anything that has to do with music and I am always down for a trip to Austin. So we went and mostly survived the trip (I got hungry towards the end of the drive, and that's never good for anyone in the vicinity). I knew next to nothing about Pentatonix other than what the Roommate had told me, which was that they were an acapella group and they were amazing.

It turns out they're an acapella group and they're amazing. They're also comprised of two amazing gay men, a baritone and a tenor. Mitch Grassi is one of the new loves of my life. I would like to be put on the list of his Queer Dears, I'm just saying. He is adorable and reminded me of a grown up version of Sassy Pants from "School of Rock." Love love love him. Every time he opened his mouth to speak, I grabbed the Roommate's shoulder and swooned with the love that only a Queer Dear can understand.

The Odd Couple

I'm living with a boy.

There are certain things to be expected when living with a boy. No matter how much he says he's cleaned the bathroom, there are still beard hairs on the sink. Anytime you say, "does this smell weird to you?" his answer will always be "it smells fine!" And when it's Saturday and you ask what he wants for dinner, he'll look at you incredulously and say, "it's Saturday.....it's grilling day."

So  far things have worked themselves out well. I shower at night and he showers in the morning, so bathroom time isn't an issue. He helped me move in all of my heavy furniture, including a couch that once belonged to my parents and is now part of the house, as he says he'll die before having to Tetris it back down the skinny hallway.

When we discussed my moving in to his house, he said that I would have the two back rooms, one as a bedroom and one as a living room (where my TV, couch, and coffee table went). They were boring neutral colors, so we set upon painting them. The living room is orange (as in Halloween, not burnt, ew) and my bedroom is a deep purple. While we were painting, we discovered that each room in the house is a different color of the rainbow:

Red is the sunroom/dog room,
Orange is my den area,
Yellow is his bedroom,
Green is the kitchen,
Blue is the living room,
Purple is my bedroom.

Of course, I managed to move into the Rainbow House.

As seen on Lifetime.

Sometimes life gets in the way of blogging. Like when your best friend goes through a rough break up and you have to be available at all times for needed Ben and Jerry's support. Especially when his ex's life could be made into a Lifetime movie.

It's difficult enough being a teacher these days, what with the increasing emphasis on teachers being judged based on their students' standardized test scores and the lack of salary growth in the career. It's even worse when you have teachers that have inappropriate relationships with their students.

In this case, said student had graduated in May (three months ago) and was 18. But guess what? IT'S STILL WRONG. If you are an adult and you hang out with teenagers for fun, then you need to look at your life, look at your choices. It also ruined several relationships and, more importantly, sleep cycles. 

I will be the first to say that I hate when people expect that just because you belong to a certain group, you have expectations and roles you have to fill. As Natalie Portman so eloquently put it, I never said I was a role model. But I'm sorry gays (and teachers, and gay teachers), you have a responsibility to not be a creeper. When you have groups that honestly believe that homosexuals are more likely to be child molesters, then you need to oh, I don't know, not take your 18 year old former students on vacation, just the two of you. That is suspicious and saying that you're just friends does not make it sound better, because I am around teenagers all day long at school and trust me, there is nothing about them that would make me want to hang out with them socially. A teacher I worked with last year took a student to the Renaissance Festival last year, and while I cannot fault her for the choice of venue because that place is awesome, it's not okay and she abruptly quit two weeks later. I wonder why. 

Break ups are hard, no matter what the reason is. In this case, it was a long and horrendous process that took all summer and ended with a severing of lives and separation of houses. It hasn't been an easy process and it has been hard on everyone involved. Luckily, it's all pretty much settled. He's just ready to move on, and I am, too. I wasn't sure how many late night phone calls I could take.

On a more positive note, this whole experience means that I have a new wonderful roommate! More shenanigans and Will and Grace comparisons to follow!

FLAMING

I'm giving a new definition to the word because it is SO HOT OUTSIDE I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I drove around town today with my air conditioner on super major frostbite and listened to Christmas cds to try to convince my body to stop sweating but it DIDN'T WORK. It is too hot to be sassy. I spend my days on pinterest looking up pumpkin recipes and daydreaming about autumn, which in Texas means temperatures of 70 degrees.

I'm sure some people have been doing fabulous and gay things, but I'm too busy fainting from heat stroke to notice.

TEXAS, I HATE YOU.

Chicken Chow Down

Who ever thought that a delicious chicken sandwich and waffle fries would cause such a stir?

The Cathy Family, including S. Truett, the founder of Chick-Fil-A, and his son Dan, the current president, have never made their Christian views a secret. Chick-Fil-A is closed on Sunday to allow their employees to worship and their kids' meals come with religious coloring books. The company has a history of philanthropy towards "Focus on the Family" type groups and other Christian (anti-LGBT) groups, from donating food to donating money.

However, recently Dan Cathy has made the transition from silent bigot to active homophobe when he voiced his opposition to same-sex marriage in an interview:

Some have opposed the company's support of the traditional family. "Well, guilty as charged," said Cathy when asked about the company's position.

"We are very much supportive of the family -- the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that.

"We operate as a family business ... our restaurants are typically led by families; some are single. We want to do anything we possibly can to strengthen families. We are very much committed to that," Cathy emphasized.

"We intend to stay the course," he said. "We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles."

Now comes the firefight. Many people voiced their incredulity to Chick-Fil-A's vocal stance and have voiced their disapproval. The mayors of several large cities, including Boston, Chicago, and San Francisco,  have stated that they will not allow Chick-Fil-A's to be build in their cities to further spread their message of hate. The Jim Henson Company has stated that their Muppets will no longer be fans of waffle fries and that the profits they have gotten from Chick-Fil-A will be donated to GLAAD.

On the flipside, there are arguments that Dan Cathy was simply exercising his first amendment right to free speech and that he has to right to believe any way he wants. There is also a "Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day" planned by Mike Huckabee, in which conservatives nationwide showed up under the guise of protecting their first amendment rights. By eating a chicken sandwich. Really?

I love a first amendment. Really, I do. But when your first amendment right is being used to take away the rights of others, don't you think that's a little bit hypocritical? Let's stop and think about it for a minute.

Everyone has the right to their opinion and religious belief, but when your religious belief starts manipulating government policy, then we have a problem. Not allowing gays to get married is WRONG, plain and simple. I'm not talking about a religious or moral standing, I'm talking about civil rights. Prejudice against homosexuals is wrong, just as prejudice against women and African-Americans was deemed wrong in our shockingly recent history. Stop kidding yourself about standing up for first amendment rights. Hi, you're a bigot.

My best friend and I ate at Popeyes on Chick-Fil-A Appreciation Day. Not only did they have red beans and rice and biscuits that tasted like they were sent directly from heaven, I didn't have to worry about my money going to groups that will attempt to pray the gay out of someone.

It's really too bad that Chick-Fil-A just tastes so damn good. I have to settle for making copycat recipes from pinterest and watching this video. Somehow drag queens just make everything okay.

Milk and Cookies

For Pride Week, Oreo released a photo of a fake cookie with six colored layers with the word "Pride" next to it. As with everything else in the gay world lately, it elicited both positive and negative reactions from people.


 


I personally don't see what the hubbub is about. With this cookie, everyone is a winner. It is a truth universally accepted that the Oreo cream is the best part of the cookie. Six layers of filling? My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Summertime and the living is easy

Just in time for Pride Week, there's an update!

I've been busy with a musical (as Guinevere in "Camelot", thank you!) and there have not been that many events in my gay world, other than my recent "Sex and the City" marathon. At least none that I feel comfortable blogging about.

A few of my friends are going through difficult times, and it's hard to be the bystander. I hate to see my friends in pain and it's very hard to know that there's nothing I can do to help. I just stand by with a bottle of vodka and a pint of ice cream.

In happier news, I have a boyfriend that I'm pretty sure is straight (though, embarrassingly enough, he has appeared in this blog before). But let's be honest, anyone I date is going to need to be a little gay and very gay friendly. That was tested out this past weekend when our local community theater needed to take pictures for next season's promotional material. He was asked to be in the picture for Leading Ladies, in which two straight men pose as long lost relatives to get an ailing older woman's inheritance, only to discover that the relatives are women. So of course, the picture needed some "classy drag." We are nothing if not classy.

Political breakdown

President Obama made American history last week by speaking out in favor of gay marriage, saying that he felt that gay and lesbian Americans should be treated equally and fairly and should be able to get married.

This is the first time that a sitting American president has spoken in favor of gay marriage, though in reference to the rest of the world, America is a little behind the times. Here is a list of countries and the year that gay marriage laws were passed:

Argentina – 2010
Belgium – 2003
Brazil – 2011
Canada – 2005
Iceland – 2010
Netherlands – 2001
Norway – 2008
Portugal – 2010
South Africa – 2006
Spain – 2005
Sweden – 2009

Three words that will save the US economy -- gay wedding registry.

All that glitters

Sometimes you have to beware of gays bearing gifts. I learned this the hard way.

A friend came to visit me and brought a present along with his gossip and opinions of everything I was wearing. He had a tube of his new favorite lotion that he bestowed upon me with the advice that I simply MUST use this, that it has absolutely CHANGED HIS LIFE.

So I slathered it on copiously. I bathed in this stuff, because who doesn't want soft skin? No one wants to start a fire when their limbs rub together.

I then went upon the activities of my day, which consisted mostly of laying on the couch and reading in the air conditioning, because the Texas heat is already starting to frizz my hair something fierce. Because of this, I had forgotten about my liberal application of the magic lotion.

When I eventually emerged from my cave, I was immediately blinded. I looked around for the offender and was surprised to find that the sun was glinting off my skin like a Twilight vampire.

 It turns out the lotion was full on glitter lotion. I looked like a disco ball. I looked like a float in a Pride Parade.

It was awesome.

Edward Scissorhands

I have discovered that not all gay men are cut out to be hair stylists.

My best friend is a high school choir director and has been working feverishly on his show choir's spring show. It's all girls so it's a very diva-tastic affair, complete with wigs and dresses and pageantry.

Last week, he called and told me that he needed help styling a wig. When he came over, he told me that he had a long haired wig that needed to be transformed into a Thoroughly Modern Millie style bob. The way I was helping was to wear the wig on my head while he chopped it up. So I did the dutiful friend thing and tucked my hair under the wig while he cut.

He had the wig looking pretty good, at least by what I could see in the porch window of the balcony. The wig was the same color as my hair, so it was fun to see me with short hair and bangs.

Yes. Bangs.

When he was done, I went into the bathroom to inspect it in a real mirror and the bangs section was looking kind of strange so I leaned in closer to the mirror and OH MY GOD THAT IS MY REAL HAIR.

In the quest for wig bangs and in his vigorous brushing of the wig, a portion of my real bangs somehow escaped the confine of the wig cap and got sliced off. There is now a quarter of my bangs that are shorter than the rest. Luckily they're easily hidden in the underbrush and are off to the side. And luckily my friend couldn't hear the obscenities I yelled at him over the sound of his laughter. He was very amused with the situation.

At least the wig looks good.

Slacking.

My gay world has been embarrassingly quiet as of late. I've been neglecting my poor blog!

In all honesty, the end of the school year is near and I'm holding on for dear life. This has been a loooong year. Spring fever has definitely hit with a vengeance.

One of my dear friends recently got a boyfriend, so that's boring. I mean, it's exciting for him, but to me all it means is that I am booted from being his plus-one at an upcoming lesbian wedding, and for that I am pissed.

I'm currently in my community theater's production of "Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street" and am discovering what a sadistic queen Sondheim is. That man has something against sopranos. High D, bitch say whaaaat?

And, to be even more honest, I've been spending a lot of time with a straight guy! Finally, someone who is not repulsed or amused by ladyparts. This is no longer happening:



It's a nice change.

The Boy Paradox.

It's funny because it's true.