No Strings Attached

Well. Now I have done it.

Long story short -- two of my friends (we'll call them A and B for brevity's sake) were going to attend the out of state wedding of a college friend of B. B had said at a dinner (that A was not attending), "I really wish that I could have a college boy weekend without A." A few weeks later, A said to me, "I don't really feel like going out of state and hanging with B's frat boy friends."

And an evil Geppetto complex was born.

"If only they knew!" I thought to myself. "If only they would talk to each other, they'd realize they have the same ideas!"

So I tried to make little hints and suggestions about, "oh, you never know, he may understand if you don't want to go," and "you don't know, maybe he doesn't want to go, you should talk to him."

They talked to each other, figured it out, and all was right with the world.

Until. They talked to each other, discovered my evil Geppetto complex, and I got called the hell out for my secrets and lies.

It turns out people don't like being a personal Pinocchio. And they especially don't like when they try to have a heart-to-heart talk with each other and the other person already knows what they're going to say.....because they heard it from me.

I then tried to make a joke about it with A (via text.....WILL I NEVER LEARN), and it was waaaay too soon for that. I got put in my place yet again. My place a few spaces below people who use bad grammar and don't use their turn signals in heavy traffic.

So I am properly A, embarrassed that I was so thoroughly busted, and B, genuinely apologetic and contrite that I betrayed their respective confidences. I honestly was trying to help, but all I did was make an awful mess of things. From now on, my hair will remain big because it is full of secrets that I will not be telling.

But for now, I feel like I wore sweatpants on Monday.