Do as I say, not as I do.

Nothing is more frustrating than a smart-ass gay.

Sure, we like a good snarky gay in the movies as our comedic relief. A little sass never hurt anyone. But trust me, when that sass is being used against you, it stings. It does not hurt so good. There's nothing I hate more than something I've said getting thrown back in my face.

I was leaving a friend's house last week after an amiable get together. I had gone around and said my goodbyes and doled out my cheek-kisses and hugs and random ass grabs. As I headed toward the door, I paused to say goodbye to the last guy.

"Okay, bye," he said as he walked across the living room, "text me when you get home."

I'm sorry, exCUSE ME?! Where is my air-kiss, sir?! After all we've been through, I deserve at least an air-kiss!

I held on to this slight for a good twenty minutes, but then I got over it. However, I made sure to tell him exactly the social niceties that he turned his back and walked away from. Sort of a, "no big deal, but never do it again if you want your life to remain un-nagged" situation.

A few nights later, I was at his house again. We had been watching a movie and he was falling asleep on the couch. After the movie, he went in and laid down on his bed. A few minutes later, I decided to leave and I went in and stood awkwardly by his bed.

"Okay, well.....bye," I said, and turned to leave.

"Don't....walk away....when you're saying goodbye to me," he mumbled.

Touche, jerk.