One of the perks of having gay men as your best friends is that you always have someone to flirt with boys for you, especially in the technological advances of the 21st century. I do so enjoy having a personal Cyrano.
Sometimes the idiom is true -- guys know what guys want. I was amazed at how well the flirty texts were received. I think I may have created a monster, though; last night, I told my friend that Straight Guy had texted me and his response was, "Let him talk for a while and then let me flirt with him for you!"
Monday, December 12, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
An Open Letter to Rick Perry
Dear Rick Perry,
Hi. I know that memorizing things is hard work, and sometimes it's easier to just throw out talking points in a series and pretend that it makes sense -- let's face it, that saves you from the embarrassment of not being able to remember your own positions on things, am I right? But gay people serving in the military does not actually keep children from "celebrating Christmas in schools." And I teach in a public high school. Trust me, there is plenty of Christmas -- we even get two weeks vacation for it. Children also learn about the Declaration of Independence in school, where they learn that all men are created equal and are granted by their Creator (even though you have sort of claimed his as your own) certain unalienable Rights, and that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
And I'm not too sure that you have the direct line to God that you seem to think you did. Despite demanding the people of Texas to pray for rain, there was still statewide drought and wildfires. It almost is as if you're just using Jesus as a way to look holier than thou and pious. Methink thou doth protest too much, you know what I'm saying?
Thanks for making America think even more that Texans are stupid closed-minded assholes. As if Dubya didn't do that sufficiently. Hurry up and lose the primary and fade into obscurity.
Hugs and kisses,
Queer Dear.
Hi. I know that memorizing things is hard work, and sometimes it's easier to just throw out talking points in a series and pretend that it makes sense -- let's face it, that saves you from the embarrassment of not being able to remember your own positions on things, am I right? But gay people serving in the military does not actually keep children from "celebrating Christmas in schools." And I teach in a public high school. Trust me, there is plenty of Christmas -- we even get two weeks vacation for it. Children also learn about the Declaration of Independence in school, where they learn that all men are created equal and are granted by their Creator (even though you have sort of claimed his as your own) certain unalienable Rights, and that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
And I'm not too sure that you have the direct line to God that you seem to think you did. Despite demanding the people of Texas to pray for rain, there was still statewide drought and wildfires. It almost is as if you're just using Jesus as a way to look holier than thou and pious. Methink thou doth protest too much, you know what I'm saying?
Thanks for making America think even more that Texans are stupid closed-minded assholes. As if Dubya didn't do that sufficiently. Hurry up and lose the primary and fade into obscurity.
Hugs and kisses,
Queer Dear.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Watch Your Language.
Each community comes with its own vocabulary, but often they are words that have different meanings for different groups. Even the word "gay" has a varied sociological history, as my students try to tell me when I get on to them for saying that something is gay. "But miss, I meant happy!" Yeah okay, sure.
A friend had a run-in with linguistic confusion the other day. He was talking to an acquaintance of his about something, and the man said that his "partner" attended an event. My friend thought that it was odd that this man referred to his wife as his partner, but just chocked it up to an eccentric nature, or maybe an attempt to make him feel comfortable and familiar or something.
It wasn't until the next day that he realized that the man was referring to his business partner.
A friend had a run-in with linguistic confusion the other day. He was talking to an acquaintance of his about something, and the man said that his "partner" attended an event. My friend thought that it was odd that this man referred to his wife as his partner, but just chocked it up to an eccentric nature, or maybe an attempt to make him feel comfortable and familiar or something.
It wasn't until the next day that he realized that the man was referring to his business partner.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Stand Together
Tonight's episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (or, as one of my friends refers to it, The Cry Show) is about a family who lost their 11 year old child to homophobic bullying in school. The boy's mother, Sirdeaner Walker, has created the Stand Together pledge to stop bullying. Visit the site and stand together with the almost 100,000 people who have pledged to stop bullying of any kind.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
A Christmas Miracle
I have a friend that I sometimes think of as a straight guy who likes guys. He loves football and red meat and hates talking about his feelings. He puts on a facade of nonchalance when he's out in public.
But there are times when he surprises me, specifically around Christmas time. He dons him now some gay apparel when it gets close to Christmas. I helped him decorate his house for Christmas, and I swear this man pranced. PRANCED through the house. I'm pretty sure he even giggled on occasion. He also just called me at 6:45 a.m. because the local easy listening radio station is playing Christmas music and he thought that I should know that Kenny Loggins was playing.
It's like having my own personal elf.
But there are times when he surprises me, specifically around Christmas time. He dons him now some gay apparel when it gets close to Christmas. I helped him decorate his house for Christmas, and I swear this man pranced. PRANCED through the house. I'm pretty sure he even giggled on occasion. He also just called me at 6:45 a.m. because the local easy listening radio station is playing Christmas music and he thought that I should know that Kenny Loggins was playing.
It's like having my own personal elf.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Benefits.
I have recently been made aware that I have a friend who has a friend with benefits.
The way he explained it to me was that they ended up drunk in bed one night and things started happening so he just decided to go with it. He went with it for a couple of months.
Has anyone else ever been able to make a "friends with benefits" situation work? Hollywood has made it clear that there are usually some sort of feelings on one or both sides. Can sex be emotionless and just fun?
He said that they eventually broke it off because they wanted to end it before things got complicated. My argument is, how can things not be complicated? Many people are able to separate the act of sex from emotional attachments (I know some people even separate the act of sex from sexual orientation, which is even more baffling), but to me a situation of friends with benefits differs from general promiscuity or an occasional one night stand.
To repeatedly have sex with a person and to not develop feelings for that person is to take all of the feeling out of it. Sex is supposed to be the ultimate expression of love and intimacy with a person, which is why it is so scandalous when people engage in one night stands in the first place. Granted, the friends of benefits situation is safer than the one night stand situation, but still. Why engage in acts of intimacy with a person without being intimate with them? That's what hands are for.
The way he explained it to me was that they ended up drunk in bed one night and things started happening so he just decided to go with it. He went with it for a couple of months.
Has anyone else ever been able to make a "friends with benefits" situation work? Hollywood has made it clear that there are usually some sort of feelings on one or both sides. Can sex be emotionless and just fun?
He said that they eventually broke it off because they wanted to end it before things got complicated. My argument is, how can things not be complicated? Many people are able to separate the act of sex from emotional attachments (I know some people even separate the act of sex from sexual orientation, which is even more baffling), but to me a situation of friends with benefits differs from general promiscuity or an occasional one night stand.
To repeatedly have sex with a person and to not develop feelings for that person is to take all of the feeling out of it. Sex is supposed to be the ultimate expression of love and intimacy with a person, which is why it is so scandalous when people engage in one night stands in the first place. Granted, the friends of benefits situation is safer than the one night stand situation, but still. Why engage in acts of intimacy with a person without being intimate with them? That's what hands are for.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Bloody Mary
The United Kingdom has lifted a lifelong ban on gay men giving blood due to the perceived risk of HIV/AIDS. Men who have not had anal or oral sex with other men in twelve months (a window made to make sure that no infections are undetected in testing) are now able to donate blood in England, Scotland, and Wales.
The ban on blood donation of homosexual men still applies in the United States, but hopefully this move in the UK will cause American health services to re-examine their discriminatory policies. According to the UK research, "the safety of the blood supply would not be affected by the change and we would like to reassure patients receiving transfusions that the blood supply is as safe as it reasonably can be and amongst the safest in the world. There has been no documented transmission of a blood-borne virus in the UK since 2005, with no HIV transmission since 2002."
Giving blood is very important, not just in times of crisis but every day. There is no substitute to blood, so opening up the blood pool and having more blood available to those in need is important. If you've ever been in an accident or had a disease that called for a transfusion, you know how important blood donation is. If you're able, check out where to donate from the American Red Cross.
The ban on blood donation of homosexual men still applies in the United States, but hopefully this move in the UK will cause American health services to re-examine their discriminatory policies. According to the UK research, "the safety of the blood supply would not be affected by the change and we would like to reassure patients receiving transfusions that the blood supply is as safe as it reasonably can be and amongst the safest in the world. There has been no documented transmission of a blood-borne virus in the UK since 2005, with no HIV transmission since 2002."
Giving blood is very important, not just in times of crisis but every day. There is no substitute to blood, so opening up the blood pool and having more blood available to those in need is important. If you've ever been in an accident or had a disease that called for a transfusion, you know how important blood donation is. If you're able, check out where to donate from the American Red Cross.
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