So it's been a minute since I've made a post. Shame on me. Life has gotten in the way -- I've had a job change and a housing change, and both of those have been filled with emotional fallout, blah blah blah, I like to talk about feelings a lot.
But this past weekend, I spent a wonderful weekend with a fabulous group of men and I was reminded of several things. One was that gay men will quickly correct you if you are wearing heels and you're actually wearing wedges, get it right.
The most important was the reminder that I am the happiest and truest version of myself when I'm with my gay friends. I reunited with a friend from college and was introduced to his group of friends, to whom I immediately became best friends (or at least Facebook friends, which in this age is practically the same thing). When I returned home, I was in a deep blue funk that I couldn't figure out, until I realized that it was because I missed them so much.
So let's get a drink, boys. It's been far too long.
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Monday, June 3, 2013
Book Review -- The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth
Summary: Cameron Post is twelve years old when, in the same day, she kisses a girl and her parents are killed in a car accident. Not only is she left to deal with the grief from the loss of her parents and her conservative aunt Ruth who moves in to care for her, but her burgeoning sexuality, which manifests even more in her attraction to her friend, Coley. Cameron and Coley eventually develop a relationship and, when Coley's brother discovers them, Coley tells the town that Cameron has manipulated her and taken advantage of her and Cameron is sent to a conversion camp designed to teach her appropriate relationships and gender roles and how to turn away from her sinful ways. While at the camp, Cameron gets to know and befriend some of the other campers and comes to terms with herself and the differences in others.
Commentary: This is a young adult novel, which originally turned me off -- as a high school teacher, I tend to keep away from novels that detail teenagers and their problems, but this was recommended to me by a friend. Once I got past the everyday teenage troubles (she drinks and smokes pot pretty frequently), the conversion therapy angle fascinated me. At the camp, Cameron encounters two different types of adults: Reverend Rick, who is approaching the campers and their mission from the "I dealt with homosexual feelings and came out victorious" angle, more sympathetic and understanding and treats the campers as actual people, and Lydia, the cold, ice-bitch psychologist who is the one who corrects the campers behavior frequently and sees them as square pegs to push into the round holes. It's when one of the campers, who is the son of a preacher himself, has a breakdown at a therapy session and harms himself when he can't get rid of the gay, does Cameron and a few other campers make plans to escape. And who can blame her -- the only people in her world surround her with hate and confusion and fear.
The author has said that she's based the camp on the Zach Stark controversy at a Love In Action camp that was investigated for child abuse. The book also has other ties with the author -- it takes place in her home town of Miles City, Montana, and Emily M. Danforth officially came out while she was attending college.
Why You Should Read This Book: The writing is good, though it tends to feel a bit bogged down in the middle. The section at the camp, however, makes it completely worth it. The different ways that the kids -- because they're all kids -- cope with the world and the hate that is thrown at them from people they love, is admirable. Even when one camper, unable to handle his father's rejection when the campers go home for two weeks at Christmas, mutilates himself, it's still understandable and plausible.
One of my wonderful friends has recently gone through a change in his relationship with his parents when he came out. Luckily, my friend is in his 20s and has a wonderful boyfriend and support system to fall back on when his parents disappoint him. But these characters are teenagers, all younger than 18, and at the most vulnerable stages of their lives. To read how these kids deal with the adversity of being told that they're wrong is what makes the book worth reading.
Commentary: This is a young adult novel, which originally turned me off -- as a high school teacher, I tend to keep away from novels that detail teenagers and their problems, but this was recommended to me by a friend. Once I got past the everyday teenage troubles (she drinks and smokes pot pretty frequently), the conversion therapy angle fascinated me. At the camp, Cameron encounters two different types of adults: Reverend Rick, who is approaching the campers and their mission from the "I dealt with homosexual feelings and came out victorious" angle, more sympathetic and understanding and treats the campers as actual people, and Lydia, the cold, ice-bitch psychologist who is the one who corrects the campers behavior frequently and sees them as square pegs to push into the round holes. It's when one of the campers, who is the son of a preacher himself, has a breakdown at a therapy session and harms himself when he can't get rid of the gay, does Cameron and a few other campers make plans to escape. And who can blame her -- the only people in her world surround her with hate and confusion and fear.
The author has said that she's based the camp on the Zach Stark controversy at a Love In Action camp that was investigated for child abuse. The book also has other ties with the author -- it takes place in her home town of Miles City, Montana, and Emily M. Danforth officially came out while she was attending college.
Why You Should Read This Book: The writing is good, though it tends to feel a bit bogged down in the middle. The section at the camp, however, makes it completely worth it. The different ways that the kids -- because they're all kids -- cope with the world and the hate that is thrown at them from people they love, is admirable. Even when one camper, unable to handle his father's rejection when the campers go home for two weeks at Christmas, mutilates himself, it's still understandable and plausible.
One of my wonderful friends has recently gone through a change in his relationship with his parents when he came out. Luckily, my friend is in his 20s and has a wonderful boyfriend and support system to fall back on when his parents disappoint him. But these characters are teenagers, all younger than 18, and at the most vulnerable stages of their lives. To read how these kids deal with the adversity of being told that they're wrong is what makes the book worth reading.
Monday, May 13, 2013
T is for Terrific
Today is my best friend's birthday!
I first met T when we were cast together in our local community theater's production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." He played Joseph and I played Potiphar's Wife; my introduction to him was, "oh hi! I'll be the one ravishing you later!" Part of our tango dance included me shoving his face in my cleavage and a love was born.
We've been best friends for two years and roommates for six months. He is one of the most talented people that I know and I've been privileged to be able to work with and sing with him on a few occasions. He is a wonderful teacher, as evidenced by the time he takes with me and by the merits of his students.
He entered my life at exactly the right time -- I was transitioning from one job to the other and was worried about leaving my friends in Houston to move to a smaller town. To be honest, our blossoming friendship was one of the main reasons that I pursued the job in the smaller town so passionately. It's not very often that people find someone that they bond with so quickly and intensely and I didn't want to let that go.
In the past few years, we've gone through major ups and downs -- we both were cast as leads in shows at our theater, I started grad school, he had a significant break-up, we moved in together to make our transformation into Will and Grace complete. Since we've started living together, we've had minor battles, mainly over the spice cabinet (because he's a damn dirty Cajun with an iron tongue), but we're thriving.
I don't know where I would be without T. He has enriched my life in many ways, starting with providing me with the love of his dog, Wolfgang. He is funny, thoughtful, caring, and loyal. He is supportive of me but not to the point where he doesn't call me out for being ridiculous. He is the perfect laidback yin to my melodramatic yang. Everyone should be lucky enough to have a friend like T -- but get your own, I don't like to share.
Happy birthday, T! I love you and I'm sorry in advance for eating all of your birthday cake!
I first met T when we were cast together in our local community theater's production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." He played Joseph and I played Potiphar's Wife; my introduction to him was, "oh hi! I'll be the one ravishing you later!" Part of our tango dance included me shoving his face in my cleavage and a love was born.
We've been best friends for two years and roommates for six months. He is one of the most talented people that I know and I've been privileged to be able to work with and sing with him on a few occasions. He is a wonderful teacher, as evidenced by the time he takes with me and by the merits of his students.
He entered my life at exactly the right time -- I was transitioning from one job to the other and was worried about leaving my friends in Houston to move to a smaller town. To be honest, our blossoming friendship was one of the main reasons that I pursued the job in the smaller town so passionately. It's not very often that people find someone that they bond with so quickly and intensely and I didn't want to let that go.
In the past few years, we've gone through major ups and downs -- we both were cast as leads in shows at our theater, I started grad school, he had a significant break-up, we moved in together to make our transformation into Will and Grace complete. Since we've started living together, we've had minor battles, mainly over the spice cabinet (because he's a damn dirty Cajun with an iron tongue), but we're thriving.
I don't know where I would be without T. He has enriched my life in many ways, starting with providing me with the love of his dog, Wolfgang. He is funny, thoughtful, caring, and loyal. He is supportive of me but not to the point where he doesn't call me out for being ridiculous. He is the perfect laidback yin to my melodramatic yang. Everyone should be lucky enough to have a friend like T -- but get your own, I don't like to share.
Happy birthday, T! I love you and I'm sorry in advance for eating all of your birthday cake!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Sports Talk
We are living in a new world. This week, NBA player Jason Collins has come out, becoming the first openly gay active player on an American sports team. Many players have come out after retiring, but none have come out as gay while actively playing a sport -- and enduring the locker room.
Most of the feedback since Collins' news has been supportive and congratulatory; however, with the positive also comes the inevitable negative and stupidity. Former and current players as well sports representatives have spoken out on twitter about being uncomfortable with a gay man in a locker room. A few players have written dissenting tweets then erased them -- one player saying "it's a shame I have to apologize for my TRUE feelings."
What is a shame is that the stigma of the uncontrollable homosexual is still present. Because guess what -- Collins was gay before coming out. He was in the locker room with men who were dressing and undressing in front of him and there were no issues. Nothing has changed! He's still the same person.
The argument of "he's gay, my loins are no longer safe" is such a ridiculous thought. As with straight people, gay people don't see random folk on the street and become overwhelmed with desire and have a loss of all self control. If changing under a robe or in a stall makes you feel more comfortable, then by all means, have at it, but don't do it out of safety and concern for yourself. Do it out of basic public decency.
Most of the feedback since Collins' news has been supportive and congratulatory; however, with the positive also comes the inevitable negative and stupidity. Former and current players as well sports representatives have spoken out on twitter about being uncomfortable with a gay man in a locker room. A few players have written dissenting tweets then erased them -- one player saying "it's a shame I have to apologize for my TRUE feelings."
What is a shame is that the stigma of the uncontrollable homosexual is still present. Because guess what -- Collins was gay before coming out. He was in the locker room with men who were dressing and undressing in front of him and there were no issues. Nothing has changed! He's still the same person.
The argument of "he's gay, my loins are no longer safe" is such a ridiculous thought. As with straight people, gay people don't see random folk on the street and become overwhelmed with desire and have a loss of all self control. If changing under a robe or in a stall makes you feel more comfortable, then by all means, have at it, but don't do it out of safety and concern for yourself. Do it out of basic public decency.
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Life is a Drag
Over Christmas break, I went up to Dallas to visit friends and we subsequently went to S4 to see their drag show.
I've seen many a drag show in my day and love every incarnation, including Rupaul's Drag Race on LOGO. But whether professional or amateur, there are a few staples that are necessary for a great time:
1. A great emcee. Nothing ruins a night faster than an emcee who isn't funny or entertaining, or the lack of an emcee, with the DJ announcing the girls. Emcees are incredibly important: they need to be spontaneous and respond to the audience without being overly vulgar. There's a difference between joking and insulting and a good emcee (with a good audience) can toe the line magnificently.
2. A good audience. Don't try to be funnier than the emcee, because you will not win. Have fun while still being courteous to both the girls and the other audience members. Basically, don't be an ass. Have fun but don't spoil the rest of the audience's fun.
3. Tip! Tipping is not mandatory but is the best way of showing your appreciation for the show. If you're going to tip, then don't make them work for the money -- don't hold on to it and "make" them perform for you in order to get it. They're working their asses off for everybody, and you're included in that. Let them get their money and move on! They're earning every bit of it.
4. Performers need to know the words to the songs. This is one of my pet peeves. Yeah yeah, they're lip syncing, which means they don't necessarily have to know the words, but come on. Nothing takes me out of a show faster than a performer moving their mouth like a fish and pronouncing random syllables that do not in anyway sound like the song they're supposed to be performing. Ladies: pick a song you know, and then perform the shit out of it.
5. Keep the music topical. There are the obvious gay anthems that are staples in shows, but if you're performing a random 70s disco song that no one in the audience knows, you're just setting yourself up for a boring show. I may be biased in this one, but my favorite performances have been queens that dress as Beyonce, Gaga, or Britney and rocked the shit out of a medley. The Beyonce queens are my favorite, I must admit.
It's probably sad how much thought I've put into what makes a good drag show, but there you go. Go, drink, and hope that I never figure out how to pull a Connie and Carla because I will take my drag show on the road and it will be a GLORIOUS show.
1. A great emcee. Nothing ruins a night faster than an emcee who isn't funny or entertaining, or the lack of an emcee, with the DJ announcing the girls. Emcees are incredibly important: they need to be spontaneous and respond to the audience without being overly vulgar. There's a difference between joking and insulting and a good emcee (with a good audience) can toe the line magnificently.
2. A good audience. Don't try to be funnier than the emcee, because you will not win. Have fun while still being courteous to both the girls and the other audience members. Basically, don't be an ass. Have fun but don't spoil the rest of the audience's fun.
3. Tip! Tipping is not mandatory but is the best way of showing your appreciation for the show. If you're going to tip, then don't make them work for the money -- don't hold on to it and "make" them perform for you in order to get it. They're working their asses off for everybody, and you're included in that. Let them get their money and move on! They're earning every bit of it.
4. Performers need to know the words to the songs. This is one of my pet peeves. Yeah yeah, they're lip syncing, which means they don't necessarily have to know the words, but come on. Nothing takes me out of a show faster than a performer moving their mouth like a fish and pronouncing random syllables that do not in anyway sound like the song they're supposed to be performing. Ladies: pick a song you know, and then perform the shit out of it.
5. Keep the music topical. There are the obvious gay anthems that are staples in shows, but if you're performing a random 70s disco song that no one in the audience knows, you're just setting yourself up for a boring show. I may be biased in this one, but my favorite performances have been queens that dress as Beyonce, Gaga, or Britney and rocked the shit out of a medley. The Beyonce queens are my favorite, I must admit.
It's probably sad how much thought I've put into what makes a good drag show, but there you go. Go, drink, and hope that I never figure out how to pull a Connie and Carla because I will take my drag show on the road and it will be a GLORIOUS show.
Monday, November 19, 2012
Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends
One more reason to support gay marriage: gay men will marry your girlfriends. And I believe I speak for all women when I say that we all enjoy a motherfucking quiche. You have been warned.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Barack the Vote
Tomorrow is election day! To put you in the mood, I would like to direct you to this letter from President Obama in response to a 10 year old girl's letter about being bullied because she has two dads:
And I swoon.
Don't forget to vote tomorrow!
Don't forget to vote tomorrow!
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